Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Football Jokes (Part 2)

Here is another funny article from SOCCERNET:

100 greatest ever footballers

Yet another list of the 100 greatest players of all time has hit the headlines but on this occasion it is not based on mere opinion but fact, at least that is what the creators claim.

The Association of Football Statisticians' (AFS) compendium of 'Greatest Ever Footballers', due to hit the shelves in time for Christmas, used a points based 'all time player ranking system' to reveal that Pele is in fact, and you won't believe this, the best football player the world has ever seen.

Soccernet will let the shock of that revelation settle in before informing you that the Brazilian's normal opponent for that title Diego Maradona is actually only the sixth best player in the history of the game.

Manchester United legend George Best, the man Pele once described as 'the best player ever' does not even make it into the controversial list, whilst United defender Gary Neville is ranked 86th. And not the 86th best defender but the 86th best player of all time, in the entire universe...ever! Now we're not saying the Red Devils' skipper is not a decent player, but come on!

Some other baffling rankings has Johan Cruyff - three times European Footballer of the Year and key exponent of Rinus Michels' Total Football - listed 21st, just five places above little-known Iranian striker Ali Daei.

Daei ranks 26th due to his 109 goals in 149 international matches for Iran.... against the mighty teams of Asia. Socceroos' striker Archie Thompson's has already been on the phone to ask why he isn't on the list after his 13 goal haul against American Samoa (Population 57,291) in a World Cup qualifier.

Former France striker Sylvain Wiltord waltzes in at 58 and even overlooking the fact that he should not be in the list in the first place, it is difficult to comprehend why he is allegedly better than AC Milan legend Franco Baresi, Roberto Baggio, Bryan Robson and Edgar Davids.

The AFS' system of awarding points for goals scored by forwards, clean sheets from defenders and honours won - including cups and caps - seems like a reasonable idea at first glance; but there are so many variables in football that their method appears more flawed than FIFA's notoriously dubious co-efficient World Rankings for national teams.

A spokesman for the book's publishers defended the rankings by insisting it was a 'comprehensive list of who really were, statistically, the best players of all time'.

That much used saying regarding lies, damn lies and statistics has never seemed more appropriate.

The best team in the world according to the Association of Football Statisticians*

• GK - Peter Schmeichel

• LB - Roberto Carlos
• CB - Lothar Matthaus
• CB - Franz Beckenbauer
• RB - Cafu

• LM - Johan Cruyff
• CM - Zinedine Zidane
• CM - Michel Platini
• RM - Luis Figo

• ST - Ronaldo
• ST - Pele

*Compiled by taking the highest ranked player relevant to the available positions in standard 4-4-2.

The top 100 players according to the statistics is as follows:

1.Pele (Brazil)
2.Ronaldo (Brazil)
3.Romario (Brazil)
4.Luis Figo (Portugal)
5.Zinedine Zidane (France)
6.Diego Maradona (Argentina)
7.Lothar Matthaus (Germany)
8.Gerd Muller (Germany)
9.Franz Beckenbauer (Germany)
10.Cafu (Brazil)
11.Roberto Carlos (Brazil)
12.Marco van Basten (Holland)
13.Michel Platini (France)
14.Rivaldo (Brazil)
15.Paolo Maldini (Italy)
16.Zico (Brazil)
17.Raul (Spain)
18.Ruud Gullit (Holland)
19.Eusebio (Portugal)
20.Ferenc Puskas (Hungary)
21.Johan Cruyff (Holland)
22.Alfredo di Stefano(Argentina)
23.Bobby Charlton (England)
24.Jurgen Klinsmann (Ger)
25.Kenny Dalglish (Scotland)
26.Ali Daei (Iran)
27.Karl-Heinz Rummenigge (Ger)
28.Gabriel Batistuta (Argentina)
29.Michael Laudrup (Denmark)
30.Hristo Stoichkov (Bulgaria)
31.Dennis Bergkamp (Holland)
32.Frank Rijkaard (Holland)
33.Thierry Henry (France)
34.Pavel Nedved (Czech Rep)
35.Gheorghe Hagi (Romania)
36.Peter Schmeichel(Denmark)
37.Andrei Shevchenko (Ukraine)
38.Sepp Maier (Germany)
39.Didier Deschamps (France)
40.Lilian Thuram (France)
41.Enzo Francescoli (Uruguay)
42.Hakan Sukur (Turkey)
43.Paolo Rossi (Italy)
44.David Beckham (England)
45.Jean-Pierre Papin (France)
46.Kevin Keegan (England)
47.Marcel Desailly (France)
48.Oliver Kahn (Germany)
49.Alessandro Costacurta (Ita)
50.Clarence Seedorf (Holland)
51.Dino Zoff (Italy)
52.Patrick Kluivert (Holland)
53.Jari Litmanen (Finland)
54.Daniel Passarella (Arg)
55.Bixente Lizarazu (France)
56.Gary Lineker (England)
57.Ronaldhino (Brazil)
58.Sylvain Wiltord (France)
59.Bebeto (Brazil)
60.Alessandro Del Piero (Italy)
61.Davor Suker (Croatia)
62.Ryan Giggs (Wales)
63.David Trezeguet (France)
64.Demetrio Albertini (Italy)
65.Patrick Vieira (France)
66.Jurgen Kohler (Germany)
67.Laurent Blanc (France)
68.Michael Owen (England)
69.Youri Djorkaeff (France)
70.Frank De Boer (Holland)
71.Emilio Butragueno (Spain)
72.Hugo Sanchez (Mexico)
73.Rudi Voller (Germany)
74.Djalma Santos (Brazil)
75.Giacinto Facchetti (Italy)
76.Kanu (Nigeria)
77.Franco Baresi (Italy)
78.Gianni Rivera (Italy)
79.Roberto Baggio (Italy)
80.Oscar Ruggeri (Argentina)
81.Gheorghe Popescu(Romania)
82.Jon D. Tomasson (Denmark)
83.Raymond Kopa (France)
84.Carlos Valderrama (Colombia)
85.Rui Costa (Portugal)
86.Gary Neville (England)
87.Edgar Davids (Holland)
88.Claudio Taffarel (Brazil)
89.Paul Scholes (England)
90.Diego Simeone (Argentina)
91.Bryan Robson (England)
92.Roy Keane (Rep of Ireland)
93.Brian Laudrup (Denmark)
94.Henrik Larsson (Sweden)
95.Fabien Barthez (France)
96.Michael Ballack (Germany)
97.Jan Koller (Czech Republic)
98.Edwin van der Sar (Holland)
99.Robert Pires (France)
100.Johan Neeskens (Holland)

Do leave your comments/reactions/opinions...

Click HERE to read Part 1